Sunday, September 6, 2009

Luca Turilli Vanilla-Beanquest Sugar

Purple winter night
Veiled my darkened soul
While my tired eyes
Close at evening's call

Golden river flow
Cross the land of fate
There where lies the stair
And angels' marble gate

From the wide magic reign of a thousand gates
Where are hidden crystal secret skies
Where my vanilla beanquest ends, where my rainbows shine
There where my soul flies

~"Vanilla Beanquest" derived from Luca Turilli's "Dreamquest"

It is quite a wondrous event to find yourself in the possession of a bean of vanilla. The acquisition of such a magic pod may elude you, and send you on a dreamquest of epic podportions. It may cost you your finest pheasant, or the hand of your fairest daughter. Therefore, it is imperative that one treasure and exhaust this black magic to its sharpest spire.

Aft ye hath scraped the subject of its sticky darkness, dispose not the pod. Attain a small, lidded vessel wrought from wood or glass and fill with 1 1/2-2 cups sweetened granules. Entomb the the vanilla bean pod inside, and store for eternity. On occasion, it is wise to stir and break up any hardened lumps that form. This sacred pairing is best used to enhance coffee and tea but also may be used to lure trolls out of the dark corners of the earth.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Your chocolatey, coagulated blood will become my sustenance in 10-12 minutes

Monday, May 18, 2009


I had hunted high and low for a concoction of precious, sparkling stratoberries, when it appeared befpre me in a celestial dream: Stratoberry Poundcake with Buttercream... a moist lump entombed with berries and filled divinely with soft pink frost of Dionysis....... Blessed berry be!

1 (16 ounce) pkg frozen stratoberries, thawed
1c fresh stratoberries
1 c butter or shortening
2 c sugar
4 eggs
3 c all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2/3 c buttermilk
1/2 cu chopped pecans or walnuts (optional)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp almond or strawberry extract

Drain frozen stratoberries. Reserve 1/2 c juice for the frosting. Chop them with all of your might along with the fresh berries and set aside.

In a mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugar until gloriously combined. Add eggs, one at a time, beating at the speed of light after each addition. Combine the dry ingredients; add to creamed mixture alternately with buttermilk. With operatic vigor, stir
in nuts, chopped berries and extracts!

Pour delicately into a greased and floured bundt pan. Bake at 325 degrees F for 1-1/4 hours or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes; remove from the pan to a wire rack.

Go forth and Frost....

1 c shortening
5 c confectioners' sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp clear imitation vanilla extract
2 fl oz heavy cream
1/2 c stratoberry juice
couple of chopped stratoberries
1 tsp orange extract (optional)

Cream shortening until fluffy. Add the gentle snowfall of confectioner's sugar and continue mixing. Add salt, extracts and whipping cream and blend on low speed until moistened. Add statoberries and juice. Add additional whipping cream if necessary to reach desired consistency. Beat at high speed until frosting is magnificently fluffy and pink. Spoon into center hole of cake and ornament as you will with fresh berries. Glory!

Thursday, April 9, 2009


While stalking near the shore of the dark ocean, I uncovered these wicked barnacles. With crucifix in hand, I plunged forth into the midnight sea. I gathered them into my clutch and did frost them woefully by the moon's harsh gleam. The secrets of my discovery are as follows..

2 cups boiling water
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
2 1/4 cups white sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped
4 oz (around 3 bars) Godiva dark chocolate, chopped and melted

Preheat thine oven to 350 degrees F. In medium bowl, pour boiling water over cocoa and chocolate remnants, and whisk until smooth as blood. Let mixture cool. Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt; set aside to rot.

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy as a young rabbit. Viciously beat in eggs one at time, then stir in vanilla. Add the mix of flour alternately with the rotten cocoa mixture. Pour forth into lined cupcake pans

Bake in preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool before the...


2 oz. unsweetened baking chocolate plus 2 oz. Godiva dark chocolate, broken
1/4 c. butter
1/4 c. milk
Pinch salt
2 1/2 c. powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 tbs instant coffee grounds or strongly brewed black coffee (optional)

In a cauldron on low heat, melt broken chocolate with butter, milk and salt. Stir constantly until thick and smooth. Remove from heat. Mix in sugar, vanilla, and coffee. Beat until thick enough to spread, scornfully. If desired, plunge the decorating tip of a pastry bag filled with frosting deep into the heart of each cake before icing tops.